Well, This Sucks: I'm MBC

Anyone who believes I'm a superhero about all this cancer crap did not hear me in the ultrasound procedure room, as the young doctor sat next to me and said, "So, there are findings..."

"Nooooooooooo!!!! I can't do this again!" I wailed. Wailed, like I was four. I was inconsolable.

I think that's all I heard. It's all I needed to hear. I could see the screen for myself. There were two hypoechoic, spidery things, one on each breast site.  There was this strange rash, a rash I had been asking the doctors to look at for ages, four of whom looked at it and passed on it...stretched between the two of them. The first tumor marked the very spot that last closed when my first mastectomy healed. The wound that took nine months to close. That.very.spot.

There was some possibility that it was just a lipid filled growth, either or both of them, so we'd have to wait for pathology:

A. Left breast mass, ultrasound guided needle biopsy: Invasive ductalcarcinoma, moderately differentiated
B. Right breast mass, ultrasound guided needle biopsy: Invasive ductal carcinoma, moderately differentiated

Both hormone positive, and something new: they are both HER2 positive.

Here's how Breastcancer.org explains it:

Genes contain the recipes for the various proteins a cell needs to stay healthy and function normally. Some genes and the proteins they make can influence how a breast cancer behaves and how it might respond to a specific treatment. Cancer cells from a tissue sample can be tested to see which genes are normal and abnormal. The proteins they make can also be tested.

HER2 (human epidermal growth factor receptor 2) is one such gene that can play a role in the development of breast cancer..... 

The HER2 gene makes HER2 proteins. HER2 proteins are receptors on breast cells. Normally, HER2 receptors help control how a healthy breast cell grows, divides, and repairs itself. But in about 25% of breast cancers, the HER2 gene doesn't work correctly and makes too many copies of itself (known as HER2gene amplification). All these extra HER2 genes tell breast cells to make too many HER2 receptors (HER2 protein overexpression). This makes breast cells grow and divide in an uncontrolled way.

But regardless, I am now considered Stage IV, metastatic.  The cancer took a walk, left my breast, marched across my skin.

Yes, I'm devastated. Again.

I have a treatment plan. I start chemo with Taxol, Herceptin and Perjeta next week. The taxol isn't supposed to be as difficult, and the other two are these new biologics.  On average, folks are living for many years. Possibly much, much longer.

Then, there are immunotherapies like vaccines.

Yes, I plan to keep working, at least for now. Dammit, I need the money (because the true costs of cancer continue), and I do love my job. But I also bought an RV.

There are some things that I still want to accomplish:

• Going full time in a RV
• Traveling the world, although right now, I'll settle for thisViking tour. Or the Cathedrals and Distillery tours of the UK. Or the Hobbit tour of New Zealand. Or...
• Making sure my wonderful daughter finds someone who loves her as much as my hubby loves me
• Helping her get into her first home, if she needs us

Yes, we all are in shock and mourning. And we are living. We're enjoying our RV as much as possible.